Its voting time
58I need your thoughts
Ok, here's the scenario.
You are an adult that lives with family because of a series of unfortunate events. You have a family of your own and both parties are having thoughts of moving. Now here is the dilemma, they automatically think that you are going to move with them but are not only not taking your opinions into consideration as far as choosing a house, but they are also treating you as if you were still a child (now keep in mind, you are an adult!! let's say 25+).
And here is the vote.
I want you to tell me if you feel that they are right in thinking that because you live with them you go where ever they go, OR do you feel that you, as an adult have the right to have a say in where you will be living also.
So vote!! Yes you should have a voice or shut the heck up and deal
yes, and if you move you will still be paying rent
or should I say that if you move with them that you will still be paying rent--and not just like $100, more like half of the house payment
i would say if you have proportionate financial responsibility (either rent or house payments) then yes you should have a say.
however maybe this is their way of quietly moving you out.
just a guess; of course i don't know your situation first-hand.
lol, thats true. but the thing is that they are kinda demanding that we move with them, ya know, getting whiney if we turn them down. its a messed up situation
do you have just very different tastes, when it comes to the house or neighborhood? maybe they really want what they want and just want to put their foot down...
well, its more like they are looking at some really crappy houses and we think that if they want us to live in that "crap" then we should have a say. like this one house we looked at...was very nice, had a huge master bedroom for them (yay, *being sarcastic*), but the rooms where the kids slept in--which is where we would be--there was all this freaky writing on all the doors, in one room the door was cracked, in another the door frame was busted all to crap with a hole in the wall, and in the last room there was the word "kill" with some writing that you couldnt make out underneath. And in all three rooms there was a kind of heaviness that you couldnt place. Everywhere else it was fine, it was a nice house, we just dont want to live where there was "negative energy", ya know?
If you're an independent adult, you have a choice. Don't agree to go, unless you're satisfied with the situation. If you're dependent on them for childcare, money etc, you can ask that they consider your opinion, but I'd focus on gettng to a position where you can make your own choices than putting energy in to a temporary situation.
Yes, I agree with you Free Advice. That is exactly how I feel about both sides, and I know that it can work both ways. And just to let everyone know, I just asked for the poll cause it's a sticky situation and I was curious to see what others reactions might be. I really didn't mean for it to be directed towards me, sorry about that.
I think it's great that you're asking, if people want to respond they will otherwise they won't. Here's my two cents:
from the way it sounds both you and your parents are a bit dependant on each other. you said yourself you moved back in for financial reasons, but you are covering part of the rent, so they're dependant on your contribution too.
so what i suggest is putting your foot down a bit and saying that while the living arragnement would be great for them, it would be horrible for you guys (what was that, Satanic writing on the walls? do your parents want their grandchildren exposed to that?)
Offer a compromise (find a house that has a similar master bedroom) but let it be known that you'll move out if it comes down to moving into that new place. You kind of have them by the balls if they're expecting you to cover part of the housepayment.
At any rate, good luck.
I have to laugh because that is exactly how we feel. Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone in feeling the way I do.
livelonger Level 6 Commenter 5 years ago
one question: are you paying rent to live with your family?